My most embarrassing lockdown guilty pleasure

Hello World 💜

Welcome back to my blog and to another week of us staying indoors and listening to social distancing advice as dictated by the Goverment and NHS.

BTW – if you listen to Trump and have or are planning to drink disinfectant … R U OK HUN?

But in all seriousness, I do hope that we are all doing our part and have been staying indoors and doing our own bits to make sure we try and ease the spread of infection. With that being said, I’ve been in lockdown now for almost 6 weeks I reckon and its safe to say I’ve found myself having a rather peculiar guilty pleasure that I honestly thought I had left behind over 10 years ago – but no. I still have it and its come back with vengeance and I cannot stop, I literally cannot function without having this guilty pleasure at least several times a day, I’m unable to sleep, eat, drink or just have basic human functionality without it.

I mean, I’ve spoken about guilty pleasures before on this site (check the link here if you fancy having a nosey – it is something that I mentioned very briefly because I find talking about it to be incredibly awkward) but I do think having this one, especially with going into my 27th year of being in this world is stupidly embarrassing and a little bit shameful and without a doubt proper cringe.

I HAVE AN UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH TWILIGHT FANFICTION.

I can’t even begin to tell you when it started, I wasn’t even a fan of the books or the movies when they first came out – I was such a wuss and just assumed because it has supernatural creatures that it would be like a horror series and my mind just cannot deal with anything scary so I didn’t get into the movies until the after the second movie came out onto DVD.

By that time, I was doing my GCSEs and came down with the worst case of tonsillitis that anyone has ever gone though and I was suffering HARD. So, I was gifted the first book by my Mum – which later turned into forcing my Mum to rent the DVDs from the local library and later buying all of the books and DVDs and I became an undisputed TWIHARD.

Looking back on it now, it is a little embarrassing how obsessed I was, I had so much merchandise, the walls of my bedroom were covered in posters that looked like a miniature shrine – it was that bad that at some point I’m pretty sure I covered up Kristen Stewart’s face so the first thing I would see in the morning would be Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson – I had a serious hatred and jealousy of Kristen Stewart for no genuine reason whatsoever, because she’s actually a pretty good actress but my teenager hormones were having none of it.

I don’t even know when I started reading fanfiction, as in the fix point of where I would willingly search for stories created by over people about the minor characters that I loved and who I believed were repeatedly sidelined. But its been going on for over ten years – like before lockdown I could happily go for several months without reading any fanfiction, but now? That’s like starving me of caffeine and my daily bacon rations – its impossible to even think about.

I would happily give up ever having McDonalds ever again as long as I had my Twilight FanFiction fix – and that’s saying something because I miss having a McDonalds so much right now that I keep tweeting about how much I love them and that I miss them on a weekly basis.

I even have a specified APP on my phone that has at least 500 of my favorite fanfiction stories, in addition I have a website where I’ve book marked up an additional 1000 stories on to my goggle histories so when I’m having a bad day I can re-read some of the classics that are just perfection. And with these stories I do have the tendency to focus on stories of the wolfpack because I’m just in love with them, the vampires are kind of boring in comparison, and the idea of imprinting and finding soul mates is really intriguing and I’ve found that it has also helped me to not give up on romance and having love in my own life – is that weird?

Seth and Leah and my ultimate favorite characters and I will happily spend hours of my days sifting through finding stories of Leah getting her happily ever after because she bloody well deserves it if I’m honest – if I’m not searching for stories on Leah, my second favorite topic has to be about Jared and Kim. For me? Those two characters were not given the credit and justified storyline they deserved and we needed more of their classic love story and honestly? I’m not the only one because there are THOUSANDS of fanfiction stories of them and I’ve probably read the majority of them.

When it comes to this guilty pleasure, especially with me spending so much time reading all of these stories, have I wrote one? The answer is no. I’m really not that creative or have that sort of imagination to get the words onto paper, I do find it easier to think about the what next scenarios but to be honest I’m just lazy and would rather read other people’s work and support them with likes, follows and comments and such.

So that’s my lockdown guilty pleasure – please tell me you have one as well and I haven’t just horrificly embarassed myself online? Let me know in the comments 💜

Oh and if you haven’t figured it out yet – I’m totally #TeamJacob

Love, Leo x

3 comments

  1. We all have a guilty pleasure – it’s okay and much needed as a teacher. My drawer or cupboard always had chocolate in and working with early years children, my guilty pleasure was telling them I’d put their drawings and cards in my ‘special filing cabinet’. This was the bin but however sweet they are you cannot keep hundred of pieces of shite each term. Obvs I kept anything showing they’d learnt or consolidated something. Now my guilty pleasure is watching The Real Housewives of Cheshire. *Ashamed face… I don’t know the Twilight stuff as I’m old but I love that you love it so much! Enjoy…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love twilight but have never read any fan fiction, in fact i’ve never read any on any subject.

    I’ve had no time for guilty pleasures yet but I’m hoping to fall in love with Gossip girl now its my Easter break!

    Enjoy x

    Like

  3. Well, don’t we all have some or other sort of guilty pleasure. Mine guilty pleasure would be procastinating.😬 And I think I am having it since the day I was born.🙈🙈

    Like

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